I feel it creeping up on me

I feel it creeping up on me again.

The feeling of dispair. The feeling of sincere

worthlessness. How long will I have to feel

this way? Why does this happen to me?

I thought I have broken free from its

grip.  I am slowly sinking in. These feelings

that I can not shake. The closer I feel like I am

breaking free more closer its grip is upon me.

Tighter and tighter it has ahold of me. To

the point I feel hopeless… To the point, I loose

all consciousness. What can I do to prevent it?

I keep telling myself to be happy. I am tired of living

in the dark… living in the grips of this thing hovering over me.

I can’t breathe.  A single tear flows down my cheek. How will

I go on?

Edited: September 13th, 2009

Yet so far away…

Day by day, I sit and wonder where you are. What you are doing? How long it has been since i have seen you last. I sit and think it has been a long time. I wonder if you think of me. ondering.. what I am doing?… So far away you are. I wonder when I will get to see you again. Sit down like old friends. Though we talk every day, every week, we have not been able to sit down and visit like friends do. I miss you being in my life everyday… Miss talking to you… hanging out… riding around together. The day will come when we will be able to ride around together again.

Love ya sis!

Edited: September 10th, 2009

Amazement

Wow!  I am so amazed on how my week turned out.  So it went down like this, Monday through Wednesday I spent most of my days in the bed.  I wasn’t feeling to well.  I hate it when I can’t go and do for my kids and family.  So anyways,  Thursday I was told that I needed to go to the ER since I don’t have insurance that is where I went. I stepped into the ER about noon that day.  So I am sitting there, hurting,  felt like someone had punched me in my stomach a few times.  5 o’clock comes I have  had my vitals checked and lab work done up, Still sitting there hurting.  So long story short, I didn’t get see the doctor til about 2 o’clock that Friday.  Oh man, 20 something hours in the waiting room at the ER is a freaking long time to wait.  But I did get to see some cool things there like for instance I got to see some guys knee cap… literary I saw the bone.  Man that was pretty cool!  So I got out of the ER about 7 o’clock that evening… got some antibiotics for a bladder infection.

So here I sit, I figured out how to import my blog feeds into facebook notes… which was really easy to figure out.  I am listening to my Ipod, at the moment, Godsmack is playing.  LOL!!

I feel alot better.

Enough of this stuff! Gotta get back to facebook! LOL!

Edited: September 6th, 2009