Cloud 9

Sitting on cloud 9… Looking down at the gates of hell. Forgetting the past mistakes… looking forward to the future with you. Love is a roller coaster… with corkscrews… spirals and sharp turns. Where does love take us? No one knows but the One above.

my heart

My heart urns for your embrace. How i feel like you are slipping away? Away from me as time ticks still. How I wish I could leave my love for you here. Here where pain is love. Here while I wait for still.

every tear

For every tear i cry over you is a tear of missing you. I miss your smile. The way you make me laugh. I look up towards the heavens and every star is in place.How i wish i could see your smiling face.
I know you think of me to, your Snow Bunny who is true. You have my heart in the palm of your hands. How i wish I could stand. One step closer to the abyss that spirals down before me. Should I let go and jump or just stand there in the pouring rain waiting on you to come rescue me. Take me out of this abyss that I am in. I sink deeper and deeper within.

It’s a Mirage

Is it a dream… Will I wake up from this bittersweet dream that I am in?
Walking in this desert all alone, slipping into this abyss of nothingness.
Mouth is dry, searching for water for this weary soul. Only to come to a mirage in the sand. Looking up at the sky as the vultures come to take my soul away. Wishing that all of this would end. One day I will wake up and come alive. But for now I will just lay here as they pick at my soul.

subconsciousness

Slipping into subconsciousness with the world spinning around me.

Looking for a way out of the games we play, how can it be this way?

Still searching as I slip deeper still in this subconscious world that

I have created for myself. Trying to find my way to the top in this gloomy

hole in the ground but instead I am 6 feet under. Don’t cry for me, for your

pain will go away. My pain is here to stay.

Lessons learned

I never claimed to be a perfect soul.
Learning from mistakes.
Guarding my heart so I
don’t get hurt. I don’t plan
on opening up my heart again
to feel the pain within.
I take it one day at a time.
Learning my lesson to
never fall in love again.

Intimacy

A truly pure treasure
That should never be bound
Between kindred souls
The piercing desire for the affection
Once shared
In all but hollow rooms
Filled with our passions hang on the walls
Symbols of the former time
How could this intimacy
Have been replaced
By mere random things……

missing you

Yesterday has all but gone
Although still lingers heavy
Oh how I miss my friend
My compradre
My confidante
Tear filled eyes longing
for yesterdays understanding
That shouldn’t be forgotten
Seeking with intense admiration
Desire the attention we use to give.
I wonder if this friendship
Scatters with the four winds
And day by day it passes
Ever so slow……………..

Emotions come undone.

As we embrace mix emotions swirl around us.
Emotions of love, desire, frustration, contemplation
and some of hurt.
How do I know if this is a temporary ‘fix’.
Making out trying to cover one of another with
sweet kisses, passionate kisses. Trying to hold
on to what we know, the love we believe in.
How do we let a wound heal when we keep
picking at the sore.
I want to love you truly, madly, deeply. I don’t
want no one to come between the love we have
for one another. The love that is true, the unconditional
love that we so desire for one another. How to love amidst
the pain. Thinking that everything will be alright, once again
when we embrace and love one another passionately once more.

the holidays

The holidays aren’t the same since you went away.

Missing you like crazy this time of year. Wishing that

you were here.  I know in my heart you are in a better

place but the selfish part of me still wish you were here.

I know you are here with us in spirit, watching us grow,

watching us laugh and cry through the good times and the

bad ones. You will always be in my heart.

I love you grandma. I miss you!